There really was a new Presidential Executive Order issued December 30, 2009 in relation to Terrorism in the United States. No – the “Alphabet Connection” was not “officially” released (Wink. Wink), but it seems that the “We” in my reporting from yesterday has decreed through an Official real and truly true Executive Order as reported in the NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/12/30/us/politics/AP-US-Anthrax-Attack.html):

“If the nation ever faces a large-scale attack by a biological weapon like anthrax, the U.S. Postal Service will be in charge of delivering whatever drugs and other medical aid Americans would need to survive.”

Stop that! Now wipe off the keyboard and monitor. Good. Listen to We (oops) me.

Who better to be “in charge of dispensing ”medical countermeasures” to biological weapons because of its ”capacity for rapid residential delivery.””

Hey – lets deputize them as “Visiting Nurses” under the new “Obama Health Care Plan” and provide syringes too! That’ll get the economy rolling!

Personally I would have chosen FedEx or UPS.  My reasoning is that neither of their managements could afford to “stuff mail into closets and unused rooms at mail facilities in Waterbury and Wallingford because they don’t know how to keep up with such a high volume of mail…” That might be because their shareholders actually expect them to be profitable. Unlike the USPS which somehow managed to operate in the red to the tune of $68.09 million dollars in 2009 while still raising rates.

Or how about Wal-Mart? That corporation is the largest non-union civilian employer in the United States with 1.3 million employees (USPS has a paltry 656,000 unionized workers). Wait a minute – I see what that sneaky “We” guy is doing. You silly bugger – it’s a “bait and switch” tactic to pay back the Union Bosses that “We” ripped off behind closed doors during the Health Care debacle after they elected “We”.

Another little goodie is this one:

“Under the new order, federal agencies must develop a response plan that includes possible law enforcement escorts for Postal Service workers and gives anthrax ”primary threat consideration.””

One might question whether the “unionized” law enforcement escorts are there to “escort” or enforce, but that is going way too far. And why “anthrax”? Could it have anything to do with this story out of New Hampshire in which a third case of “natural” anthrax was identified  from African drums – wait – isn’t Nigeria in Africa?

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe yesterdays Executive Order could merge with todays Executive Order and save the “free-ish” World.

Excuse me. Off to call “We” in Hawaii.